Life Coaching Books

 

 

Life Coaching

Build a Positive Future
Relieve Stress & Anxiety
Become More Assertive
Increase Self Esteem & Confidence

 

Dealing with Negative Thoughts and Feelings

I work as a life coach for people in the UK and internationally providing telephone coaching to help people to make improvements in their lives through the use of life coaching and CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) techniques.

If you experience negative thoughts or anxieties you are not alone, but you may have more choice over the way that you deal with those thoughts and feelings than you recognise.

Most people have periods of their life or specific situations, circumstances or relationships in which they feel stressed or have difficulty in achieving their full potential or expressing themselves assertively.

In such situations you can find that you:

Alternatively, you may find that you are

These and similar difficulties, self doubts and anxieties can be helped by the application of proven techniques and strategies with the help of supportive life coaching.

What is Life Coaching?

There is no agreed definition of life coaching. However, life coaching often contains the following features:

Solving Problems and Improving Motivation

I offer information and specialist life coaching to:

I aim to help you fulfil your potential to the maximum in a practical and realistic way.

I am a qualified social worker as well as being an experienced uk life coach. I have worked successfully for 15 years to help clients learn and implement powerful personal and professional change and overcome difficulties in their life.

I have been trained in a range of different coaching and counselling methods, of which the ones I find to be most effective are:

Other core techniques which I use are:

What is CBT?

One of the models of coaching which I have found to be particularly effective is CBT, otherwise known as cognitive behavioural therapy (or cognitive behavioural coaching). It is a set of techniques used used by counsellors and life coaches which is particularly effective in helping people who are experiencing stress, anxiety or negative thoughts. It is also commonly recommended as a successful method for helping people suffering from depression or other low mental states.

The cognitive part of this method relates to your thoughts and feelings (your cognitions). The method rests on the view that the thoughts that are going through your head are likely to influence your actions and feelings.

Despite the word 'therapy' being in its name, CBT is nothing like the traditional psychoanalytical methods of therapy or counselling - it does not involve you in having to undergo psychoanalysis. On the contrary like many coaching models it is practical by nature and people usually follow a CBT programme for a relatively short number of coaching sessions, not for an indefinite and lengthy period which traditionally used to be the case in counselling or psychotherapy and still is in some instances!

The aim of CBT and other coaching models is to help you help yourself.

If you find yourself commonly thinking self critical thoughts or judging yourself (or others) in extreme ways it may well be that you would benefit from cognitive behavioural coaching.

A short example of a CBT coaching exercise is given further down this page (under the sub-heading "How can coaching improve thoughts, situations or emotions?") to help to show the practical nature of the model and how it can be applied.

My Coaching Expertise

I have been invited onto BBC Radio and TV to give expert coaching advice on stress related topics and improving personal effectiveness and have written specialist life coaching articles for uk life coaching organisations such as the Association for Coaching, on change management, stress control, relationship coaching and career issues.

I have helped hundreds of people to make effective, positive change in their lives, through learning specialist coaching techniques.

The techniques are practical and straightforward and do not involve painful analysis of your past. They are designed to be helpful, constructive and supportive.

I am a uk life coach and business coach but the medium of coaching on the telephone allows me to provide my service throughout the UK and worldwide.

International Coaching for Clients outside the UK

I have coached clients from London, Bristol, Bath, Birmingham, Brighton, Cheshire, Edinburgh, Leeds, Liverpool, Manchester, Oxford, Surrey, Sussex, Kent, Hertfordshire, South Gloucestershire, Wales... all over the UK.

Internationally I have coached clients from the U.S.A., Europe, France, Spain, Germany, Switzerland and Africa. Examples of a couple of testimonials from clients outside the UK can be seen at International Coaching.

Distance is not a barrier to telephone coaching. Sessions are confidential, professional, effective and time-efficient.

Coaching Topics that I Cover

I can provide coaching to cover most of the usual areas that people seek life coaching assistance for, such as career development or relationship issues. However my greatest expertise and where CBT techniques are most effective is around issues where anxieties, stresses, fears or mental blocks are inhibiting you from making effective change. Some of the areas that I most commonly help people with are introducted below:

Self Esteem and Confidence

Self Esteem is part of our self image which develops during childhood and is a combination of our own natural personality features together with the messages and influences we receive from those around us about how we should act and feel about ourselves.

Coaching using CBT techniques is particularly effective in this area because it can help you in a supportive way to examing how your thought processes and negative self perceptions are impacting on the rest of your life and then give you techniques and ideas to create a more positive self image and to counter negative thoughts.

Assertiveness

Assertiveness involves communicating effectively by explaining clearly to others what your needs and wishes are in a reasonable way without being overly aggressive.

Often what gets in the way of being assertive is a worry about what the consequences will be - What will other people think of me? How will they react? Am I being selfish? are the sort of thoughts that might inhibit you from communicating in an effective assertive way.

The focus of CBT on helping you to examine and change thought processes which are making it difficult for you to communicate effectively can be extremely useful in giving you the confidence and ability to start expressing your needs and wishes in a clear and reasonable way.

Stress

Stress can be caused by a variety of factors, relating to for example:

Coaching can help you to deal with stress in effective ways by:

Anxiety

Everyone get anxious at some time or another, but if anxiety is dominating your life or certain aspects of it such as work or relationship, then coaching can be helpful to enable you to look at your anxieties in a calmer, more reasonable way, to improve your life balance and to help you meet your full potential.

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is a condition in which you experience high levels of anxiety about being criticised or judged in a negative way by others which leads you to having high levels of fear about your ability to cope in social situations. Surveys have suggested that as many as 10% of people may suffer from the condition, although it was not commonly recognised as a form of anxiety disorder until the 1980s.

It is unlikely that you will find a magic bullet solution which 'cures' your social anxiety at one stroke, but CBT techniques and encouragement from a life coach familiar with this area can help you devise and implement strategies in a sensible step by step way which will help you to grow in confidence in your ability to deal with social situations and address underlying self esteem issues.

Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety or presentation anxiety can lead you to panic at the thought of having to take part in public speaking or give a performance or make a presentation at work or in another environment.

CBT can help you to work through the psychological fears that you are struggling with and learning relaxation techniques through coaching can provide you with additional helpful tools.

Panic Attacks

A panic attack is an intense short period of anxiety without an obvious explanation such as an external threat or a medical reason.

The main trigger in panic attacks is often actually the fear that you are going to have a panic attack. Coaching using CBT techniques, offers ways of identifying the thinking patterns that are reinforcing this belief and causing you to panic, and then retraining yourself to cope with the irrational fear of panicking, so that you can begin to take control of the situation, to enable you to Increase your ability to cope with panic attacks if they happen and to lessen your fears of them.

Jealousy

Amongst relationship issues, the one that I am most often asked to help with is jealousy (Two of my eBooks cover Overcoming Jealousy and Dealing with a jealous partner).

Jealousy in a relationship is one of the most destabilising of emotions. It usually indicates insecurity about a relationship involving suspicion and often involves a misguided attempt to reach certainty about whether the person you are in a relationship with is betraying your trust - it may not be possible to reach absolute certainty about this in a relationship, in which case the desire to know may simply lead to greater anxiety and frustration.

The cognitive behavioural techniques that I use in life coaching encourage you to take control of your jealousy rather than letting it take control of you. Coupled with coaching techniques to help build self esteem and confidence where relevant, this kind of practical coaching provides a useful practical way of learning how to prevent jealousy ruining your relationship or causing you anxiety.

Changing a Habit

If you are having difficulty breaking a habit, whether that is smoking or drinking too much alcohol or something more personal such as your behaviour in relationships or the way that you express anger, then motivational interviewing is a coaching model that can be particularly helpful.

Often people think that making changes is purely a matter of willpower. This is not the case and in my coaching if you want help in beaking a habit and feel crestfallen that you have tried before and not managed it, then I can introduce you to a model of change described in motivational interviewing coaching that many people find to be more practical. This can help to prevent you getting too down on yourself if you are find it hard to make changes and it can support you in sustaining motivation.

Diet and Coaching

Diet may be relevant to coaching in two ways.

Firstly, parts of your diet may be contributing to your problems - for example, caffeine or alcohol use can make mood swings and anxiety worse. Coaching can help to highlight some of these issues for you if they are relevant.

Secondly, if you have a weight problem part which you are having difficulty in dealing with because of underlying emotional, self esteem or stress related issues, CBT techniques may be relevant to helping you to manage some of the feelings and impulse eating habits that you are experiencing. I offer free tips on this at Free Dieting Tips via an email newsletter. For those who can invest in coaching sessions, telephone coaching can help in a more planned way to deal with any underlying emotional issues and support your efforts to maintain a reasonable healthy weight.

Living a Balanced, Purposeful and Satisfying Life

Where appropriate in coaching sessions, I can also teach or give information about:

My Coaching Books

If you would like to get an idea of some of the techniques that I use in life coaching, then a good low cost way of doing this is to work through some of the practical exercises in one of my eBooks which are available for instant download from this website.

This isn't a substitute for life coaching but it will help you to see the sorts of ideas and exercises that I recommend on a range of topics at a low cost. Some of the issues covered in the books, include self esteem, assertiveness training, life change and life coaching exercises.

For further details of my coaching books, please go to: Life Coaching Books.

Does Coaching Work?

The techniques that I recommend to help people progress are based on research into the methods and strategies that are most helpful for people to make positive and real change. I also ask clients to evaluate their progress in terms of increased satisfaction levels after a short period of coaching (5-6 coaching sessions in most cases) compared with satisfaction levels before the coaching.

Some of the results achieved for clients in terms of increased satisfaction levels include:

How Does Life Coaching differ from Counselling?

I am a life coach who specialises working with people suffering from stress, anxiety, low self esteem or related difficulties, so there is some overlap with counsellors in the client group that I coach. Nonethelss there are significant differences between the service that I offer and that offered by traditional counsellors or psychotherapists. In fact a number of clients have come to me after having counselling who did not find the counselling to be particularly effective but have then found the life coaching that I provide to be both constructive and productive.

Traditional psychoanalytical counselling delves at length into a person's past and comes up with explanations of why a person acts in a certain way often to fit preconceived theoretical assumptions of the counselling model. By contrast:

How Can Coaching Improve Thoughts, Situations or Emotions?

As mentioned above, CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is one of the coaching models that I use to help people manage or find solutions for the thoughts and emotions which are inhibiting their behaviour.

An example of a simple CBT type coaching exercises that I work through with clients, similar to the well known CBT approach known as the ABC Model, is to ask people to reflect on an issue that they find is a repeated problem in the following way:

  1. Describe what the typical situation is in which the problem arises
  2. Note down your thoughts, beliefs and feelings which the situation triggers
  3. Describe how you then typically act.
  4. Make a note of the consequences of these actions and how you then feel.

In a coaching session using this model I would then explore in depth with you what are your options at each stage for breaking the negative cycle. We would consider:

People find that carrying out the constructive actions and options that they have discussed with the help of a coach can bring improvements in their own abilities to cope with difficult situations and increased confidence.

Coaching promotes positive practical change which others can perceive.

How Do Coaching Sessions Work?

You can purchase individualised telephone coaching either as a one off, stand alone coaching session or as a programme of sessions.

The aim of the coaching sessions is to assist you in making a practicable and often enjoyable movement to what and where you want to be. For each coaching session we arrange for you to call me at an agreed time when I guarantee to be available.

My standard coaching sessions last 1 hour. Shorter sessions of 45 minutes are possible if desired. Details of coaching options are provided at the foot of this page. Longer sessions can also be provided on request.

The Initial Coaching Session

The initial coaching session that you have will give you the opportunity to talk through the issues that are of concern to you. Before the initial coaching session I will supply you by email with a short questionnaire to fill out to give information and details about where you want help or ideas and we will use that questionnaire as the starting point for the discussion in the initial coaching session.

Coaching sessions will look at your individual needs and wishes and aim to help you to come up with and implement strategies to help you progress with the issues that are most important to you.

The content of each session is tailored to your particular requirements. It will vary depending on whether you are looking for help in relationships, work, business, or personal development issues.

Each session will conclude with us agreeing suggested steps for you to try out in relation to your concerns be they self esteem, anxiety, stress, work, relationship or other matters.

Flexibility

The number and frequency of coaching sessions can be adjusted to suit your individual circumstances. Some people will just want a few coaching sessions others may want longer input.

You can arrange sessions to be weekly, fortnightly or monthly - whatever seems best for your needs.

What is Included in Coaching Sessions?

The coaching service provided for you will include the following:

What People Have Said About my Coaching Service

Below are some of the comments of people who have experienced the specialist coaching service that I provide:

 

"I feel lighter and more in control...I have a greater sense of achievement..."

"Since starting the coaching, I feel lighter and more in control. In a better position to make choices. Rather than always feeling in the dark.... I have a greater sense of achievement and feel pleased with myself. I feel I'm offering my clients a good service. I have more room emotionally and mentally to cope and enjoy/contribute in my relationships. I have more defined boundaries which make me feel more secure. I sleep better. I enjoy life more. I worry less." Claire, London, UK

"I am surprised at how calm and relaxed I am about things now..."

"I am a lot more in control of my life and have started to enjoy everyday things which I have ignored for so long. Other people have noticed a change in me and I can see that I am valued by my clients. The introduction of an action programme to help balance the work has given me a better lifestyle which is much healthier all round. Through the project plan I have been able to include leisure and health activities with decreasing feelings of guilt...

I am surprised at how calm and relaxed I am about things now... By using David's constructive exercises I have been surprised and then delighted by how much difference they have made. Ideas, thoughts and feelings which had been suppressed have gradually come back and given me confidence that I can achieve my dreams." Sylvia, Kent, UK

"The life coaching service would be suitable for anyone who needs some structure and support in areas of their life where they want to make changes..."

"Since working with David I have been able to take the time to define my goals and start to work towards them. It really helps my process to talk things through with someone else and he has been great.  Breaking my goals down into achievable steps has been very useful.  In all areas my life have improved.  I’ve designed my website, have been working in my target businesses, increased my income, started socializing more, creating artwork, proceeding on course work and am generally more hopeful and focused...

...David sees to the heart of a matter, is supportive and encouraging.  His patience, his willingness to help me stick with the programme and his ability to assist in my progress have been really helpful.  His background as a social worker and lawyer is a great combination because he has great listening skills and compassion, allied with an understanding of how it is to make one’s way in the world of business...the life coaching service would be suitable for anyone who needs some structure and support in areas of their life where they want to make changes." Maria, East Coast, U.S. A.

"It has been great to have someone to talk to. You really listened..."

"It has been great to have someone to talk to. You really listened - by this I mean that you did not just listen but took in what I said. I have the feeling that what I say is not just waffle. You are an extremely helpful objective observer and have helped me to understand what I am really trying to achieve.” Fiona, London, UK

"I have successfully implemented a fundamental change in the control of my reactions which in turn leads me to react differently..."

"I have successfully implemented a fundamental change in the control of my reactions which in turn leads me to react differently and I feel better about the situation... I have adopted a more general approach to positive thinking in situations. I will see a silver lining as often as I will see a bad one. It was reassuring for me previously to think the worst scenario, because the payback was that I could be less likely to feel disappointed with the outcome of a situation. My new approach is actually a lot easier on the system." Pippa, London, UK

"David was supportive and full of practical ideas...."

"I found the life coaching really helpful for me. David was not pushy at all. He listened and with his patient and committed approach, he brought things out that I had not even realised were there. He was supportive and full of practical ideas." Charles, London, UK

"Finding your website was a Godsend...."

"Dear David

Finding your website was a Godsend...My time table plans are gradually coming back to life and I know they will help to keep me focused...Many many thanks." Julie, Bristol, UK

 

Life Coaching Fee Options

My current fees for 3 different telephone life coaching service options are listed below. For each session we arrange a time for you to call me on 020 8123 8357 (UK) or by Skype phone if you prefer. For all the options below you can purchase just one session at a time. You can continue the coaching for as long or as as short a period as is needed (the average is probably 4-8 sessions, but you can do more or less).

  Length of each Telephone Coaching Session What is Included in the Fee Per Session Fee
Click Below to Purchase an Individual Session
Basic Coaching Option 45 mins

* Exploration of issues of concern in 45 minute coaching session

* Use of coaching techniques and models

* Constructive suggestions and proposals for action

£45
Standard Coaching Option 60 mins

* Exploration of issues of concern in 60 minute coaching session

* Use of coaching techniques and models

* Constructive suggestions and proposals for action

£60
Premium Coaching Option 60 mins

* Exploration of issues of concern in 60 minute coaching session

* Use of coaching techniques and models

* Constructive suggestions and proposals for action

* Written Project Plan emailed by me after each coaching session detailing outcomes aimed for, actions and assignments to complete before next coaching session

£75

 

How to Purchase a Coaching Session

To purchase a coaching session:

1. Click on the Google Checkout Buy Now button next to the relevant level of coaching service that you want in the table above. You will then be taken through a checkout process provided by Google where you can pay by credit or debit card and provide phone and email details (this will enable me to contact you to arrange the time for the session).

2. Following receipt of payment I will contact you by phone or email, usually within 1 working day, to arrange a mutually convenient time for the session. Sessions can start at any time between 9.30am and 6.30pm (UK time) on a weekday - within that range we will agree a time that is convenient for you (for example, if you work during the day I will offer an early evening slot). I can usually arrange a session within a few days.

3. If after purchasing the session, you decide that you do not want to proceed then you can request a refund at any time up to 24 hours before the agreed time for the session. After that time, no refund is given if you cancel or miss a session.

Money Back Guarantee

Sometimes people know that they want to achieve changes and are willing to invest in coaching sessions so long as they know that they will be successful, but they are apprehensive about taking the step of purchasing sessions because they are worried in case they do not work.

I am confident in the coaching techniques that I teach which are based on proven methods and which I have witnessed working successful on countless occasions. I offer a guarantee. After the first session or any other coaching session I provide, provided that you have attended the coaching session, I will give you a full refund on request for the session if you think it has not lived up to your expectations. You can claim the refund any time up to 14 days after the session and it will be provided immediately.

Any Queries?

If you have any questions or would like to speak to me before purchasing, please call me on 020 8123 8357 (UK) or +44 20 8123 8357 (International).

Introductory Coaching Session - Current Offer

For details of an offer currently available for an initial coaching session,
please click on the link below:

Introductory Coaching Session Offer