Jealousy and Self Esteem
Jealousy and low self esteem can be linked in two ways:
1. If you have low self esteem this may contribute to you feeling that other people are better or more attractive than you. This can fuel insecurities you have in a relationship, or anxiety that your partner may be unfaithful to you, leading to jealousy in situations where you fear that your partner, or someone else important to you, is giving attention to another person. It can also lead to you being envious or resentful of other people when you think that they have things or qualities that you lack.
2. Whether or not you already have low self esteem, if you experience jealousy this can cause low self esteem or make it worse for you, because you may feel bad about the fact that you are feeling jealous and acting in jealous or irrational ways towards your partner or someone else.
Jealousy and Self Esteem Resource Pack
The jealousy and Self Esteem Resource pack is a set of ebooks to help you deal with jealousy and self esteem issues in a practical, sensible way and to communicate your feelings and thoughts reasonably and effectively.
The pack includes 3 ebooks!
1. Overcoming Jealousy - A Practical Guide
2. Low Self Esteem - How to Deal with It
3. How to Be Assertive
Details of the 3 items are given below:
eBook No.1: Overcoming Jealousy - A Practical Guide
The ebook Overcoming Jealousy - A Practical Guide provides a practical approach to overcoming jealousy, taking you through a step-by-step process designed to help you to:
- Distinguish between two types of jealousy and find out what is involved in each type
- Understand possible causes of jealousy and clarify the factors relevant to your own jealousy before you then commit yourself to taking positive steps to deal with your jealousy
- Discover how to break down the different aspects of jealousy and come up with:
- positive strategies for when you are prone to act in an extreme or jealous way
- rational self talk to put into perspective your jealous thoughts and defuse your jealous feelings
- sensible suggestions for reducing the likelihood of situations developing where you might become jealous
Cognitive Techniques and Jealousy
The book incorporates the latest CBT techniques for addressing negative or distorted thinking patterns, explaining in clear and simple terms how these can be used to work through jealousy issues and come up with practical and individualised strategies relevant to your situation. 'CBT' or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a set of techniques based on the common sense recognition that our thoughts and how we interpret events and situations influence our feelings and how we act.
This is highly relevant to jealousy where you may see something happening in a situation, or see someone acting in a certain way and then draw conclusions about it or start to believe things which lead you to feel jealous, angry, hurt or humiliated.
This Guide shows step-by-step how you can address your thoughts, feelings and actions in these situations to help you gain control and think and act in a constructive way manner.
Contents of the Guide
The book is divided into 7 Sections and in each Section you are given one or more simple assignments to work through as you build up your collection of strategies for taking control of your jealousy on a number of different fronts.
Each Assignment contributes towards the creation of an overarching Project Plan which you can use as your template to deal with the particular problems that jealousy is causing for you and your relationship, so that you begin to take control.
The topics covered by the different sections of the eBook and the different Assignments included in it are listed below:
eBook 1: Overcoming Jealousy - Full Contents List
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Your Project Plan for Overcoming Jealousy
At the end of the E-Book there is a straightforward format for you to use in setting out the Project Plan for overcoming jealousy which you will have been compiling step by step as you go through the book.
A sample Project Plan is also included so that you can see an example of how someone might create their Plan and build on that in the creation of your own plan.
What Sets this Book on Jealousy Apart
The book is unique in the way it combines a number of features:
- A practical toolkit for you to use to overcome jealousy, by way of assignments building up to an overall Project Plan
- The incorporation of CBT strategies for tackling jealousy, set out in an easy to follow way
- The non-judgmental attitude with which the book is written and its focus on helping you to understand jealousy and the approaches that you can use to combat it
- A humanistic practical perspective which helps you to put addressing jealousy into the context of building and creating lasting relationships built on trust and positive communication.
Feedback on Overcoming Jealousy - A Practical Guide "I bought the book to help with my irrational feelings of jealousy. I found that it gave helpful, practical ways of dealilng with jealous behaviour. I am applying the strategies suggested in the book to my situation and am working on changing my thoughts and behaviour accordingly. The balancing thoughts have been especially helpful. My relationship is improving." - Sheila, UK "This book unfolded step by step how my reactions don't work and gave me tools and things that I have written to reread that calm my irrational worries. I need to rewrite in on an 3x5 card and carry it! I was struggling with jealousy problems that kept arising, such as not being able to deal with triggers - now I can notice them for what they are. My partner also is jealous too. Talking about triggers to him calmly also helps him. I never told him about this book. Perhaps I should fess up! The book enlightened me to ways to stop and understand that my past is my past. The person in front of me isn't going to hurt me. Nothing that they have done deserves my questioning. I deserve a better life without worries. I still have problems but they are less and I am calmer. Overall I think this book is very informative and enlightening. It's a wonderful tool to free one self of shame and gives a helping hand to create healthy relationships." - Dee, United States "Very easy to follow and already I am pausing more before reacting to a situation." - Chris, UK "I bought the book to help with jealousy in my relationship and self esteem issues. It gives good practical advice, not airy fairy! It provides practical steps and things to do. It helps me to keep the emotional feelings out of the way and to see clearly what I have to do." - Sue, UK "The book has helped me to find alternative behaviours to deal with my extreme jealousy. I found it easy to use and understand." - Charlie, United States "Low self esteem due to recent events led me to start behaving in a way I didn't like. I wanted to 'nip it in the bud' before it escalated. I liked the parts where you fill in the spaces and have your own affirmation at the end. I liked the use of language, very simple, easy to read and very motivating. It read as though you were saying it which helped as well." - Kate, UK "I found the book very helpful, well written, good exercises. It helped me to address the real reasons for my feelings and then helped me to identify practical ways to avoid these feelings." - Laura, UK |
eBook No.2: Low Self Esteem - How to Deal with It
Self esteem is the respect that you have or don't have for yourself. It relates to the way you think about yourself and value your worth.
A Self Esteem eBook with Practical Tips & Exercises
The ebook Low Self Esteem - How to Deal with It provides a practical, easy to use guide for overcoming self esteem difficulties, improving the way you think and feel about yourself and increasing your confidence. It explains in simple terms:
- What self esteem is and how it arises
- The relevance of negative thoughts and different types of negative thoughts
- How you can counter your negative thoughts and beliefs and put them in a different perspective
- Ways in which you can learn to value yourself and your unique worth.
The Essence of Low Self Esteem
The key to understanding low self esteem is learning how to deal with and prevent the negative thoughts and self perceptions which create and reinforce your belief that in some way you are not good enough. Once you can start to change the way you think about yourself, you can:
- Feel better about yourself
- Enjoy activities and your life more
- Create and sustain better relationships
- Achieve more in work-related areas
- Relax
Low Self Esteem and Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are general beliefs that you hold, whether stated or not which limit your ability to achieve what you want to.
Low Self Esteem - How to Deal with It contains a unique explanation of how limiting beliefs can create and reinforce self esteem problems. The book gives a clear exposition of ways in which you can then:
- Discover what your own limiting beliefs are & how they are impacting on your self esteem
- Change or modify your own limiting beliefs in a practical way to start to turn around your self esteem for the better.
How the Book Approaches Self Esteem Issues
Low Self Esteem - How to Deal with It provides:
- A unique analysis of the key role of negative thoughts in creating low self esteem
- Explanations of proven cognitive behavioural techniques (CBT) to help change negative thinking patterns
- Practical exercises to help you work through relevant issues to your own self esteem in a positive and helpful way
- A project plan format where you can bring everything you have learned from the book together and create your own personalised pan for making yourself
- Happier
- More positive
- More balanced
- More fufilled
Contents of Low Self Esteem - How to Deal with It
The book is divided into several sections covering different aspects of how to deal with and change the negative thoughts that underpin your low self esteem and reinforce your negtive perception of yourself. In each section you are given Exercises to work through, to develop the practical techniques needed to start to improve your thoughts and feelings about yourself.
The topics covered by the different sections of the ebook and the different exercises included to help you use the book as a practical and effective guide on your journey to better self esteem are listed below:
eBook 2: Low Self Esteem - How to Deal with ItFull Contents List:
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Special Features of Low Self Esteem - How to Deal With It
The ebook covers a range of different areas relating to self esteem including:
- The part played by self critical thoughts in reinforcing a negative self image and how to use Balancing Thoughts in particular situations to help deal with your tendency to self critical thoughts.
- Different types of negative thinking patterns, such as ‘mind-reading’ and ‘fortune telling’ and suggestions for possible ways of dealing with these negative thinking tendencies
- What self esteem is, how low self esteem expresses itself and where it comes from
- How to develop an ability to value yourself and the use of personal affirmations
- A simple way of focusing on positives rather than ignoring them
- Limiting beliefs which may be restricting your ability to think well of yourself unconsciously or consciously
- what they are and some different types
- the impact of limiting beliefs on self esteem
- identifying limiting beliefs from childhood and adulthood
- taking control of limiting beliefs and replacing them with new beliefs
- Remembering your rights.
Feedback on the Self Esteem Techniques "The affirmations helped me initially to make me look at myself in a more positive way and be aware of my achievements and qualities. I have got a lot of my confidence back again... ...Giving my Project Plan a name which pinpointed how I needed to direct my efforts was really helpful. I can be a bit of a Peter Pan type person and having concrete techniques such as the Balancing Thoughts to try out was good for me and helped me to focus on the outcomes I wanted and on how to achieve them. This enabled me to avoid going into an emotional rut... ... My friends had got used to expecting me to be emotional and rant and are quite surprised by the new Sonia! I’ve let go a bit now and found that it gives me more control and I feel much more relaxed... I am happier with myself now and my relationship is way better than it was." - Sonia, Bristol, UK "Previously I was very tired..My mind was all over the place with contradicting emotions...I was very confused about my relationship. I now feel more confident. I am more aware of my positive traits...[Now] James and I are making more of an effort in our relationship and I am also exercising more...I am more able to look at the positive aspects of my own character and my future. I know that I can achieve my goals." - Beth, London, UK "Hi David Thank you for the exercises and forms. They have helped me a lot. I now have techniques to combat unrealistic and negative thoughts and will be giving this a good go." - Mark, Hertfordshire, UK "I bought the book for my coaching practice a week or so ago. It is very well laid out and I find the sections and instructions clear. I am planning to use the ideas in the book to work with clients on their self esteem." - Susan, West Midlands, UK |
eBook No.3: How to Be Assertive
Being assertive involves:
- Expressing your views clearly and articulately without being aggressive
- Standing up for your own and other people's rights in a reasonable and clear way
- Giving other people a reasonable opportunity to express their opinions without allowing them to dominate a conversation
- Having the courage to express your own feelings, even about difficult issues, in a way which is respectful and honest.
How to Be Assertive is a unique guide to becoming assertive covering 5 different approaches to improving your assertiveness skills.
Problems with Assertiveness
Problems with assertiveness usually fall into two contrasting types
1. Passive behaviour - where you have a tendency to want to avoid conflict or you feel that you shouldn't express your own feelings or thoughts, with the result that you go along with what others say or ask, without paying attention to your own needs.
2. Aggressive behaviour - where you have a tendency to dominate conversations or to ignore other people's views and seek to control what others do by dictating to them or telling them what they must or should do.
Sometimes it is possible to swing from one type of behaviour to the other - particularly if you have a general tendency to be too passive. This can lead to a build up of frustration and anger which can eventually come out in an aggressive way.
Assertiveness Training - The Benefits
There are many potential benefits to training yourself to be assertive. If you can become more assertive it is likely to lead you to:
- Feel better about yourself
- Feel more confident
- Feel more relaxed
- Have a greater awareness of your own needs and how to meet them
- Be able to create personal and professional goals instead of putting other people's needs or wishes first
- Be able to work effectively in partnership with others
- Participate in honest, constructive relationships where you and others can develop understanding and respect and solve problems together
Assertiveness Training - 5 Methods
The eBook How to Be Assertive offers an introductory guide to 5 different methods or approaches to becoming assertive.
Each of the assertiveness approaches in the eBook has its own value but they can also be used to complement each other so that you have a toolkit of effective techniques for building assertiveness. You can choose to try out one of the assertiveness approaches at a time or you can combine different ones at your choice.
The 5 assertiveness training methods or approaches which are set out in the eBook are:
1. The DEAL Method for Improving Assertiveness - a step by step process for approaching situations where you want to express yourself better or raise a difficult issue in a relationship.
2. Coping with Anxious Thoughts – The STAR Model - A cognitive behavioural trainign method for working through anxious thoughts which might be holding you back from being Assertive
3. Owning Your Fears - A simple process for confronting and taking control of your fears that the worst may happen (sometimes known as 'fortune telling')
4. Rights and Responsibility (R & R) Principles - How to understand and use your rights and responsibilities as a benchmark to help you stand up for yourself whilst respecting others.
5. Try it and See (It’s Not as Crazy as it sounds) - a practical approach to making changes, maintaining motivation and working through the different stages in becoming assertive based on psychological principles and a model of change.
Who is this Assertiveness Training eBook for?
The How to Be Assertive eBook is designed for you if you:
- Would like to develop a clear understanding of what is involved in being assertive
- Would like to have a choice of approaches to becoming assertive to find the one which is best for you, your situation and personality
- Want to have a clear set of practical exercises which you can follow to train yourself to become assertive.
eBook 3: How to Be Assertive - Full Contents ListThe full contents list of the How to Be Assertive assertiveness training eBook is given below: INTRODUCTION: WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS Defining Assertiveness Assertiveness – The Middle Way The Three Types of Behaviour Passive Behaviour
Aggressive Behaviour
Assertive Behaviour
Exercise 1: Understanding Your Own Behaviour
5 APPROACHES FOR IMPROVING YOUR ASSERTIVENESS Approach No.1: The DEAL Method for Improving Assertiveness Introduction Explaining the DEAL Method
Negotiation Tips Exercise 3: Using the DEAL Method for Assertiveness
Approach No.2: Coping with Anxious Thoughts - The STAR Model Introduction Using the STAR Model Step 1: Describe a Problem Situation and the Anxieties it creates for you Exercise 5: Create Your Own STAR Model
Approach No 3: Owning Your Fears Introduction 1. Options 2. Worst Case 3. Now Exercise 6: Owning Your Own Fears
Approach No.4: Rights and Responsibility (R&R) Principles Introduction What is involved in showing respect? The 4 R&R Principles
Applying the 4 R&R Principles Exercise 7: Analysing a Past Situation Troubleshooting the R&R Principles Exercise 9: My Positive Message
Approach No.5: Try It and See (It’s Not as Crazy as it Sounds) Introduction What about the Fear of Failure? Making Changes Stages in Becoming Assertive Using this Approach - Exercise 11: One Assertiveness Change - Assertiveness Plan - Successes Record Conclusion |
About the Author
The 3 eBooks in the Jealousy and Self Esteem Resource Pack are written by Self-Help Author David Bonham-Carter who specialises in the use of CBT and other practical techniques to help people deal with negative thinking patterns and address difficulties such as:
- Jealousy, self esteem and confidence issues
- Stress, anxiety and assertiveness
- Life change and motivation
- Relationship and communication difficulties
David worked for many years in the UK as a social worker before becoming a professional life coach in private practice for several years. He now focuses on sharing useful coaching and CBT techniques through self-help guides.
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1. If you would like more information about an individual product in the Jealousy and Self Esteem Resource Pack then just click on the relevant link in the left hand column of the table below. You can purchase an individual item by clicking on the relevant purchase link for that item in the right hand column of the table.
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| Items included in the Jealousy and Self Esteem Resource Pack | Price for Item as a stand alone item $ | Price for Item as a stand alone item £ |
| Overcoming Jealousy - A Practical Guide
An eBook guide with ideas for overcoming jealousy with practical assignments to create your own tailor made Project Plan |
$14.99
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£9.99
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Low Self Esteem - How to Deal with It |
$14.99
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£9.99
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How to Be Assertive |
$14.99
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£9.99
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Total Price for Buying Each Item Separately Would Be $44.97 USD / £29.97 GBP |
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Jealousy & Self Esteem Resource Pack (contains all 3 items): |
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