Responding to Criticism
Common Problematic Reactions to Criticism
Most of us may find it difficult to respond to criticism in a constructive way.
We may have a tendency to react defensively and not accept valid criticism.
Alternatively we may assume that the criticism is correct and that it means that we are useless or incompetent even if the criticism is not valid or the implications of it are not so extreme.
Adjusting your Thought Processes in Response to Criticism
If you think it might be helpful to react differently to criticism, then begin by adjusting the automatic thoughts that you have when you are criticised. Perhaps you think 'That is rubbish' or 'She doesn't know what s/he is talking about' or 'How dare he say that?' or perhaps you go to the other extreme and chastise yourself by thinking 'That was terrible, I shouldn't have done that' or 'I'll never be any good' or 'I've let everyone down.'
So a good place to start is to ask yourself the 3 questions below:
3 Questions to Ask about Your Automatic Thoughts on being Criticised
1. Are these thoughts helping me to act in a practical, sensible way?
2. Are these thoughts leading me to feel better?
3. What alternative way could I think about the situation which would be less extreme while still being accurate?
If your answers to 1 & 2 above are 'No', then when you have come up with a less extreme way of thinking in 3, remind yourself of that the next time your thoughts and feelings boil over in response to criticism. This can help you to act more calmly and to feel less stressed.
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