Changing Patterns of Arrogance
If you acknowledge that sometimes you can act arrogantly then here is a four step process that you can follow to help you to act less arrogantly in future:
Step 1: Identify a Potential Problem Situation
Think of a situyation where you might have acted arrogantly or in a self-centred way.
Step 2: Examine Your Justification
What justification did you give or might you have given if asked for acting in that way? Consider that actual or potential justification and ask yourself the following 3 questions about it to help you decide if you acted arrogantly:
(a) Are you exaggerating the importance or significance of your own needs being met in the situation ("self-elevation")?
(b) Are you downplaying the potentially negative impacts for others of your actions or your own role in creating the situation ("minimizing")?
(c) Are you exaggerating how terrible it would be if others stopped you achieving your aims or of you personally being unsuccessful in achieving them ("low frustration tolerance")?
Step 3: Ask How You Could React Differently Next Time
If in step 2 you decided that you were not showing self-elevation, minimizing or low frustration tolerance in your justification for your actions then it may be that you were not acting arrogantly at all, just in a reasonable way in the circumstances. If that is so, you don't necessarily need to change your behaviour. However, if your answers to any of the questions (a)-(c) above do suggest that you were exaggerating, minimizing or acting with low frustration tolerance in your behaviour then ask yourself how you could react differently next time so as not to do any of those things but to act in a reasonable way instead.
Step 4: Try Out Your New Reactions
Following Step 3 you now have an idea for an alternative way of acting that would be more reasonable and less arrogant. When a similar situation arises again, try reacting in the new way that you have come up with and see if it produces a better result in the situation and if you feel better after acting in the new way you have decided on. If you notice improvements that you like from your new way of acting, then keep using the four step process in similar situations to help you keep up your progress!
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