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Overcome Jealousy


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How to Overcome Jealousy

What is Jealousy?

If you look up the word Jealousy in a dictionary you may well find that there are two different types of feeling or experience that are described:

  1. Suspicion and Fear of Possible Rivals –For example, if you are in a relationship and you fear that your partner is or may be attracted by someone else and may be unfaithful to you or reject or leave you.
  1. Envy – Being envious of someone else: for example, if you envy someone’s qualities, possessions, relationships or success.

Problems Caused by Jealousy

Both types of jealousy are likely to cause problems for you and your relationships.

For you: if you experience jealousy you are likely to feel accompanying negative and painful emotions such as:

For your relationships: if you experience jealousy then it is likely to impact on the way that you relate to the people closest to you, since you may exhibit

Common Features of Jealousy

Both types of jealousy often involve, whether consciously or unconsciously:

1. A tendency to compare yourself to someone else

2. A worry or belief that in some respect you lack something that that someone else has or are inferior to them in some way

3. Attaching a very high degree of importance to this sense of inadequacy so that you may get it completely out of proportion

Distorted Thinking and Jealousy

For most people the role of distorted thinking in jealousy is of paramount importance and the key to taking control of your jealousy is to start to identify how your perceptions of yourself and of other people are fuelling your jealousy and making you feel bad.

Once you have started this process of identification you can then do something about it by trying out practical strategies for counteracting your distorted thinking processes to help you act more constructively, feel better and take control of your jealousy.

CBT and Jealousy

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to give it its grand name) is a set of simple techniques for helping you to identify your distorted thinking patterns and their influence on your emotions.

It is not psychoanalysis - it is the complete opposite: simple practical techniques for helping you put negative distorted thoughts into perspective, improve your self esteem and manage your jealous behaviour.



Overcoming Jealousy - A Practical Guide

A Step-by-Step Guide to Controlling Your Jealous Feelings and Actions

The eBook Overcoming Jealousy - A Practical Guide takes you step by step through CBT and other techniques for dealing with jealousy in a practical, sensible way and encourages you with ideas for taking control of your jealous actions instead of letting them control you.

What is Special about This Guide

Overcoming Jealousy - A Practical Guide is set apart from other books on jealousy in that it provides a step by step program for managing and overcoming your jealousy.

You are taken logically through seven stages in the process to dealing with your jealousy effectively and given assignments at each stage of the process to help you move on from that stage to the next. Once you have completed the different assignments you will end up with your own personalized Project Plan for tackling jealousy which you can apply to the situations where you get jealous and to tackling related issues such as self esteem and communication difficulties.

This is a no-nonsense practical guide - it is not a woolly discussion or over elaborate discussion of tenuous theories.

The book is unique in the way it combines a number of features:

Cognitive Techniques and Jealousy

The book incorporates the latest cognitive or CBT techniques for addressing negative or distorted thinking patterns, explaining in clear and simple terms how these can be used to work through jealousy issues and come up with practical and individualised strategies relevant to your situation. 'CBT' or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a set of techniques based on the common sense recognition that our thoughts and how we interpret events and situations influence our feelings and how we act.

This is highly relevant to jealousy where you may see something happening in a situation, or see someone acting in a certain way and then draw conclusions about it or start to believe things which lead you to feel jealous, angry, hurt or humiliated.

This Guide shows step-by-step how you can address your thoughts, feelings and actions in these situations to help you gain control and think and act in a constructive way manner.

Jealousy and Self Esteem

Sometimes a low sense of self worth can be an underlying factor for jealousy or your self esteem can be damaged as jealous feelings lead you to doubt yourself and feel ashamed of the ways you are acting.

The Guide therefore includes a useful section on issues relating to insecurity and self esteem with two simple assignments to help you build your self worth and create positive goals.

Note: I have also written additional guides on how to deal with low self esteem and assertiveness. If you feel that you may be interested in those additional guides as well, then you can find further information about a discounted pack of all three ebooks at the link below:

Jealousy and Self Esteem Resource Pack


Understanding and Dealing with Jealousy

The Guide provides a practical approach to overcoming jealousy, taking you through a step-by-step process designed to help you to:

Jealousy and Relationships

Throughout the Guide there is an implicit recognition that jealousy may be linked to other factors in relationships, such as assertiveness and trust. The final section of the Book therefore includes some simple advice and tips for building trust and communication within the relationships that are most important to you.

Overcoming Jealousy - Your Project Plan

At the end of the E-Book there is a straightforward format for you to use in setting out the Project Plan for overcoming jealousy which you will have been compiling step by step as you go through the book.

A sample Project Plan is also included so that you can see an example of how someone might create their Plan and build on that in the creation of your own plan.

About the Author

Overcoming Jealousy is a practical book written by Self-Help Author David Bonham-Carter who specialises in the use of CBT and other practical techniques to help people deal with negative thinking patterns and address difficulties such as:

David worked for many years in the UK as a social worker before becoming a professional life coach in private practice for several years. He now focuses on sharing useful coaching and CBT techniques through self-help guides.

Feedback on Overcoming Jealousy - A Practical Guide

"The book has helped me to find alternative behaviours to deal with my extreme jealousy. I found it easy to use and understand."

- Charlie, United States

"I bought the book to help with my irrational feelings of jealousy. I found that it gave helpful, practical ways of dealilng with jealous behaviour.

I am applying the strategies suggested in the book to my situation and am working on changing my thoughts and behaviour accordingly. The balancing thoughts have been especially helpful. My relationship is improving."

- Sheila, UK

"This book unfolded step by step how my reactions don't work and gave me tools and things that I have written to reread that calm my irrational worries. I need to rewrite in on an 3x5 card and carry it! I was struggling with jealousy problems that kept arising, such as not being able to deal with triggers - now I can notice them for what they are. My partner also is jealous too. Talking about triggers to him calmly also helps him. I never told him about this book. Perhaps I should fess up!

The book enlightened me to ways to stop and understand that my past is my past. The person in front of me isn't going to hurt me. Nothing that they have done deserves my questioning. I deserve a better life without worries. I still have problems but they are less and I am calmer. Overall I think this book is very informative and enlightening. It's a wonderful tool to free one self of shame and gives a helping hand to create healthy relationships."

- Dee, United States

"I bought the book to help with jealousy in my relationship and self esteem issues. It gives good practical advice, not airy fairy! It provides practical steps and things to do. It helps me to keep the emotional feelings out of the way and to see clearly what I have to do."

- Sue, UK

"Low self esteem due to recent events led me to start behaving in a way I didn't like. I wanted to 'nip it in the bud' before it escalated. I liked the parts where you fill in the spaces and have your own affirmation at the end. I liked the use of language, very simple, easy to read and very motivating. It read as though you were saying it which helped as well."

- Kate, UK

"Past relationship issues were keeping me from having a healthy present relationship. The book provided a practical guide to some quick and easy steps to be more aware of how I think in social situations and how to take steps to control jealousy. Having assignments in steps and then putting them into a project plan was very helpful. The project plan is great to fall back on. I also like the fact that the book doesn't overlook the fact that a partner could be contributing to the jealousy issue and encourages you to try to talk and negotiate each other's needs thinking about what is reasonable and unreasonable."

- Brad

"I found the book very helpful, well written, good exercises. It helped me to address the real reasons for my feelings and then helped me to identify practical ways to avoid these feelings."

- Laura, UK

"I have only just completed the workbook, but think it will be very helpful to use the CBT. I'm extremely jealous of the time my partner spends talking to, and going out with, his best friend - whom he has known for many years - and who happens to be 20 years younger, blonde and SINGLE. The book has helped me to focus on the positives and encourages us to be forgiving of others' behaviour as well as one's own."

- Shelly

"Very easy to follow and already I am pausing more before reacting to a situation."

- Chris, UK

Overcoming Jealousy - Contents of the Guide

The book is divided into 7 Sections and in each Section you are given one or more simple assignments to work through as you build up your collection of strategies for taking control of your jealousy on a number of different fronts.

Each Assignment contributes towards the creation of an overarching Project Plan which you can use as your template to deal with the particular problems that jealousy is causing for you and your relationship, so that you begin to take control.

The topics covered by the different sections of the E-Book and the different Assignments included in it are listed below:

Overcoming Jealousy - Full Contents List

Section 1: What is Jealousy?

The Two Types of Jealousy
- Common Features
- Some Differences
Is Jealousy a Normal Emotion?
Jealousy and Self Esteem
Is Jealousy My Fault?
Your Motivation for Overcoming Jealousy

- Assignment 1: Benefits of Overcoming Jealousy

Section 2: Why Are You Jealous?

Why Are You Jealous?
Possible Causes of Jealousy
- Possible Childhood Factors
- More Recent Factors
- Factors in Your Current Relationship

- Assignment 2: Explaining Jealousy

Section 3: Changing Your Jealous Behaviour


- Assignment 3: Jealous Actions
- Assignment 4: Alternative Actions

Section 4: Dealing with Your Jealous Thoughts and Feelings

The ABC Model
- Examples of the ABC Model
Are Your Beliefs Justified?
- Analysing Your Beliefs
Creating a Balancing Statement
- What is a Balancing Statement?
The Consequences if Your Belief is True

- Assignment 5: ABC Analysis
- Assignment 6: Balancing Statements

Section 5: Situations that Trigger Jealousy

- Assignment 7: Jealousy Triggers

Section 6: Jealousy, Insecurity and Self Esteem


- Assignment 8: Building Self Worth
- Assignment 9: Personal Goals

Section 7: Trust and Communication

How to Build Trust
- Tips for Building Trust

Should I tell the other person about my Jealousy?

- Assignment 10: Communication and Trust


Sample Project Plan
Your Project Plan (To Be Filled In As You Go Along)

Additional Resources



Overcoming Jealousy - Purchase Price

The cost of the Guide including all the assignments is currently just $14.99! It is available online for immediate download in PDF format.


When you purchase Overcoming Jealousy - A Practical Guide from this website, you will receive immediately a link to download the E-Book in PDF format. Your purchase is covered by a MONEY BACK GUARANTEE: If for any reason you are unhappy with your purchase, just request a refund within 15 days of receiving the E-Book and you will be given a complete refund.

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*** Note***: If you feel that you may be interested in my additional self esteem and assertiveness guides as well as the overcoming jealousy guide, then you can buy all three at a discount price for the whole pack. For further information go to:

Jealousy and Self Esteem Resource Pack