Types of Inflexible Thinking

What You Can Try To Do

Black and White Thinking
This involves for example thinking that a situation is either perfect or else it’s hopeless, someone is a demon or else they are a saint

1. Think of some in-between possibilities, if you can
2. Recognise that people (whether you or someone else) may have some good characteristics and some not good characteristics
3. Recognise that you may not have all the information needed to understand the situation fully

Mind Reading
This involves for example assuming that others are thinking certain things about you or doing things for a particular reason

1. Try to generate some alternative possible explanations for what the other person is doing or saying
2. Imagine purely for the sake of argument that you are right about the explanation of the other person’s behaviour. Try to clarify for yourself why that matters so much to you?
3. Ask yourself what is the most constructive response you can have to the possibility that you might be right?

Fortune Telling
This involves predicting how things will happen, either in an overly gloomy way or in an overly optimistic way

1. Check that your prediction is supported by evidence (and if it is not, then adjust it)
2. Remind yourself of other possibilities
3. Acknowledge that sometimes the future is not completely predictable

Generalising
This involves saying things like: ‘You always…’ or ‘You never…’
(This might be a thought about someone else OR a self critical thought about yourself)

1. Ask yourself if a more qualified or moderate claim might be more accurate, e.g. ‘You sometimes’ or ‘You often’
2. Do you want to come across as bossy or judgemental? – If not, then try to avoid saying bossy or judgemental things if you can!
3. The same applies to self critical statements: consider whether a more moderate or constructive claim or criticism of yourself might be appropriate and try not to be too judgemental of yourself!

Labelling people and situations
Examples might be describing people in simple categories – e.g. ‘You are hopeless/bad/unemotional/useless’
(Again this might be a thought about someone else OR a self critical thought about yourself)

1. Remember that people and even situations are complex.
2. Allow for degrees and the possibility that some people (including you) may be good at some things and not so good at others.
3. Allow the other person to be imperfect sometimes
4. Equally allow yourself to be imperfect sometimes.

Making Demands
This involves using words like ‘Must’, ‘Should’, ‘Ought’ (Again this may be about others or about yourself)

1. Try to avoid dogmatic moralistic words like ‘must’, ‘should’ and maybe try out ‘wish’, ‘prefer’, ‘want’ or other words which reflect your feelings and wishes rather than impose a demand on others or on yourself
2. Ask yourself, will it be helpful if I impose demands or expectations (whether in word or thought)? An alternative might be to make a request or slightly to lower your expectations of the other person (and of yourself as well if you expect to be always perfect in a particular role). None of us is perfect.
3. Retain your own standards, ideals and preferences but try not to insist that the world (or you) always operate by them or should do so, as the world may not agree! Instead, acknowledge simply that you would prefer or like it if the world or another person (or yourself) acted differently (if appropriate you may express that preference to the other person - or write it down as an intended commitment for yourself if you are the person in question – it depends whether in the situation you think that will be helpful).
4. If another person’s behaviour is obviously aggressive or harmful, don’t collude with that, but ask yourself what options you have to help you prevent the harmful effects or change the situation.

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