Life Coaching Tips

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Quotations to Reflect On

2010-04-09T15:53:00.011+01:00

I have been browsing the internet today for stimulating quotations.

Below are a few that I came across.

Feel free to post your comments on any of them...whether in agreement or disagreement:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"
- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction"
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash."
- Georg S. Patton

"Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out"
- Robert Collier

"What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself"
- Hecato (Greek Philosopher)

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

I Hate My Studies...

2010-03-29T10:25:00.008+01:00

I recently received an email from a student who is finding it difficult completing her studies. This may be a problem which is familiar to others so below I am posting the correspondence, having changed the name and removed any personally identifying details to protect confidentiality:

"Dear David

I am a Law student in my final year at university. I do enjoy university, but I absolutely hate my degree! I've always hated it, and month after month for the last two years I've wanted to drop out, only to be convinced by parents and tutors etc that it wouldn't be worth it so I just plod on and normally plod through it looking forward to when I can get over it and go travelling and then study to be a social worker (that is what I want to do - I'd rather die than become a solicitor or barrister).

My problem is that in a couple of months time I will be taking the most important exams of my life so far....yet I have absolutely no motivation to study or read my work whatsoever...I just spend days doing nothing. Literally I am more likely to stare into space for an hour than write a paragraph of my assignment. I actually procrastinate to the extreme and I have found I am up to date in all other areas of my life (i.e. I do voluntary work which I love and other activities) and I go along fine doing them, and feel happy, but as soon I sit down to do some Uni work I just want to burst into tears, and often I do. I have tried making revision timetables etc, but I can never stick to them. Everyone else seems to be finding it so easy and I know I'm being pathetic, but the truth is I just can't bring myself to do anything that my heart is not in, any longer. I feel 'dead' when I'm sitting at my laptop or reading some statute or case. I know for certain its not what I want to do with my life, I know my parents will be so dissapointed if I mess it all up, But I am finding it so difficult to have any motivation, because I feel like I've burned out. I have such burning passions for so many other things - I get so happy and excited when I think about travelling, I have started making all those plans, and have even made plans for becoming a social worker.. I don't want to be acedemic anymore. I am so unhappy thinking about all the university work I have to do. I know its going to be a mountain, and I know I have to get it all done and I want to graduate (or it will have all been for nothing), but I just can seem to do it. I just don't know how anymore.

Hope you can give me some tips,

Janice"

"Hi Janice

First of all I would suggest that you try to seek some independent advice from someone appropriate who can help you in a supportive way to talk through your issues and think of what you want to do in the short term and the medium term and how to deal with difficulties. I don't know your university but would hope that there is some sort of counsellling or support service there that you can approach for support. Your student union should be able to advise you on that.

It is good that you have plenty of activities and issues about which you are passionate, such as voluntary work etc. Keep these up as you are entitled to do things which you enjoy and which help you to relax and one day they may lead to something more.

You are at an age when you have the opportunity to make some decisions for yourself and this can be difficult, particularly if your choices ultimately prove to be different from what your parents envisaged - although I hope that if they see in future that you are happy with what you are doing then they will prefer that to you doing something you are unhappy with.

If you do not complete your law degree it may present some problems but it's not the end of the world - many people have been successful who have not got law degrees! However, if you do manage to complete your law degree it will provide a useful qualification even if you then decide to do something else, such as social work for example. As it happens, I practised as a solicitor for a few years before becoming a social worker and subsequently a life coach, so I can say with reasonable confidence that if you get a law degree it won't stop you then doing something else that you prefer!

If you are having difficulty with your assignments, I suggest that you set yourself small achievable targets at first and reward yourself by doing enjoyable activities when you achieve them - e.g. break down an assignment and reward yourself by doing a leisure activity that you enjoy once you complete a significant section of it, then again once you complete the whole of it (NB. The enjoyable activitiies can't be something harmful like drinking alcohol or with strong downsides, like spending a lot of money, but otherwise you can be creative with what you reward yourself with - constructive physical activity, a social activity, a walk, reading a book, painting...whatever you like doing).

You may find it helpful to treat the remainder of your law degree as a short term project you are aiming to achieve, reminding yourself that once you achieve it you can then take time to decide whether you want to continue with law or do something else - you don't have to rush into a legal career law just because you think, rightly or wrongly, that is what is expected of you.

Best wishes and good luck with the next few months!

David"

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Developing Good Habits

2010-03-18T11:13:00.005Z

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit" - Aristotle

I found this quote on the internet. From my recollection of having read Aristotle's "Nicomachean Ethics" as a student many years ago, it does sound to me like the sort of thing that he might say.

Good habits - and excellence - generally take time and practice to develop.

Musicians and athletes often break down what they are doing into small parts or actions and practise those parts repeatedly until they become natural (of course in practising them you need to be sure that you are practising them the right way, rather than the wrong way -even if that means going slower intially - you want to develop a good habit rather than to ingrain a bad habit).

I remember seeing Andy Murray play an incredible tennis shot which seemed inspirational. Afterwards he was asked about it in interview and he said 'I've been practising that shot a lot in training.'

If you are trying to develop a new good habit, remember it often takes time, patience and conscious effort:

- Work out what actions are involved in the new habit:
- Practise them at a level you can achieve
- Repeat them
- Repeat them again
- Give yourself credit when you succeed
- Be patient at times you don't
- If you get into a bad groove, change something
- If you get into a good groove keep it up.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Does Massage Relieve Stress and Anxiety?

2010-03-16T12:27:00.004Z

Massage as everyone knows helps to relieve stress and anxiety- or does it?

According to some recent research it seems that the relief from anxiety/stress that you may experience when having a massage could simply be because of the soothing music played during a typical massage session.

To read an article about the research click on the link below:

Does Massage Relieve Anxiety and Stress?

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Facebook Life Coaching Page

2010-02-25T10:13:00.005Z

If you use Facebook you can now find life coaching tips and updates on my service on my Facebook page "Life Coaching with David Bonham-Carter".

To locate the page go to: Life Coaching with David Bonham-Carter and sign into your Facebook account.

Or alternatively sign into your Facebook account and search for "Life Coaching with David Bonham-Carter".

Best wishes and enjoy your networking!

David

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Is Anxiety Always Bad for You?

2010-02-12T12:13:00.004Z

We tend to think of anxiety as something which creates stress and problems.

Well of course it can do this. But it can have good or useful sides to it too.

For example, if you are faced with a genuine threat or risk, an appropriate level of anxiety can alert you to thinking about how to take reasonable measures to avoid or deal with the threat - in evolutionary terms one often hears of the famous 'fight or flight' response to a threat.

If you deal with dangers or risks complacently, without any anxiety, then you may increase the likelihood of being caught out or suffering adverse consequences following from the risk.

The key words are perhaps 'reasonable' and 'appropriate'. It is when your level of anxiety is excessive in proportion to the real risk or danger that it may be considered to be unhelpful. In those circumstances it may be that you want to use techniques to help you calm down or to help you put in perspective the risk or analyse in a sensible manner how real it is or the extent of it.

If you suffer from a particular form of anxiety, such as generalised anxiety or social anxiety, it is likely that in some situations your perception of the level of 'risk' is distorted - for example, you might expect that people will think badly of you or laugh at you for certain actions or behaviour when many people may not even notice the behaviour or may have a more positive or less judgemental view of it than you anticipate.

If you suffer from severe anxiety and find that you expect yourself to be or behave perfectly all the time, then try not to be so hard on yourself - remember that no one is perfect and if you can, try not to apply a harsher standard to yourself than you would to others. Also, in line with the above, if you have perfectionistic tendencies or a high level of anxiety try to acknowledge those areas of your life where your perfectionism or drive has actually bought positive results for you - it may well have helped you to achievements which people with less drive admire.

Anxiety is not always your enemy. One of my suggestions would be to value it for the times it helps and to try to put it in perspective at times when it doesn't help.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Multi Tasking

2010-02-05T22:57:00.006Z

Quote for the Day:

Too Much Multi Tasking Leads to Multi Stress

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

The Miracle Question

2010-01-28T10:04:00.011Z

I recently received a query from a life coach in the USA about the Miracle Question.

For those of you who have never heard of the Miracle Question, it is a coaching exercise associated with Brief Therapy (also known as "Solution Focused Therapy").

Brief Therapy provides a set of techniques for helping people to make positive changes in their life which focuses on solutions and how to get there using your strengths and resources rather than on more traditional techniques of analysis.

The Miracle Question is often posed by the therapist or coach right at the beginning of a series of sessions.

The question itself is an incredibly simple way of getting you to think about how you would like your life to be.

The idea is that you try to focus in as much detail as possible on what that preferred life will be like and then you start to think about how you might get there beginning with the very first step.

In Brief Therapy you might be asked to rate how close you are to achieving the future you want on a scale of 1-10 and then to say what would take you just one point closer to the goal and focus on that as that first step. Then you could be asked to focus on other actions that might take you further up the scale.

You can see a simple version of the Miracle Question on my website at the link below:

Miracle Question

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Dealing with Mental Stresses

2010-01-14T13:16:00.006Z

Albert Ellis, the person who invented Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (a form of cognitive behavioural therapy), suggests a simple technique for helping with certain types of stresses as follows.

The technique applies to situations where you find yourself thinking that someone should or must or ought to do something. You may be thinking this about someone else (a kind of expectation or demand) or about yourself (a form of self criticism). Or indeed you may be thinking it about a situation rather than an individual: Thoughts such as it ought to be like this or it ought not to be like this.

If you have these kind of internal demands or expectations (and I think we all do at some time or another) then if they are thwarted you usually begin to feel stressed or resentful or angry or frustrated (with others or with yourself or with the situation).

The technique suggested by Ellis is that in this kind of situation in your mind you replace your internal dialogue with the new thought 'I have a strong preference for X' instead of 'X ought to be the case' or 'S/he should do X' or 'I should do X'. You could of course slightly alter the formulation to use a similar phrase with which you are comfortable, such as 'I would greatly like it if X.'

If you do that you may find that the feelings of stress, resentment, anger or frustration reduce.

Try it and See!

Note: If you are interested in learning more CBT techniques like this one through telephone life coaching session, to help with a personal stressful situation then visit the link below for information about what such sessions might cover:

Life Coaching with CBT

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

New Year Resolutions - Plan B!

2009-12-28T09:56:00.007Z

New Year is the time when traditionally we decide on the dreams we are going to aim for over the next 12 months - whether that be getting a new career, finding our perfect partner, going to the gym twice a week or something else.

Of course history tells many of us that we don't always achieve or manage to carry out our New Year's Resolution so this Blog Entry is about New Year's Resolution - Plan B!

To construct your New Year's Resolution - Plan B:

1. Think of the dream that you might want to create a New Year's Resolution about - write it down.

2. Now construct your Plan B resolution by writing a sentence that begins 'If I don't [Here insert the dream you put in 1.]....' - Complete the sentence by inserting your optimistic strategy for reacting if your dream doesn't happen for whatever reason.

Examples might be:

'If I don't find a girlfriend/boyfriend I will try like hell to enjoy myself and lead a full life anyway'

'If I don't manage to change job, I'm going to chill out, treat my work as an unpleasant necessity, choose not to get wound up about it, and forget about it in my spare time'

'If I don't manage to travel to the World Cup this year, I'm going to relax and watch it on TV and use the money I save to treat myself in another way.'

I hope you find your dream in 2010 but if you don't then remember there's always Plan B and it may actually be less stressful!

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Coping with Christmas

2009-12-18T12:49:00.006Z

Christmas for many people is an enjoyable time when you get to indulge yourself a little, relax and share presents and enjoyment with partner, family and/or friends. However, many can also find Christmas quite stressful, demanding or lonely.

If the relationships you have bring with them pressures or arguments or if you are going to be on your own at Christmas then it may be that you are not looking forward to it with quite the glittering anticipation that a traditional Christmas picture paints.

If you think that Christmas may present some difficulties or stresses for you, then it is worth giving a few positive thoughts to how you are going to get through the period successfully and if possible a little more enjoyably than normal. If you can foresee some predictable problems such as arguments or even boredom, then ask yourself in advance:

How can I get through the predictable stresses or problems in the best way - what have I done before that worked or what I can I try this time to make things reasonable if not perfect?
What can I do over the Xmas period (even if only for a short period) to ensure that I get some enjoyment out of it?

If for some reason this Christmas is likely to be different for you from previous years - for example, if you are not going to be with the usual people or in the usual place - then ask yourself:

'Do I want to do anything to help me remember the good points of previous years or the faces I miss, in a reasonable way and/or focus on positive aspects of the new style Christmas?'

Even if you are not Christian, if you are living in a country where Christmas is celebrated you will probably find that your routine changes a bit at this time of year because of the changes around you in terms of shops closing, people taking holidays etc, so you may still find it helpful to reflect on how you will ensure you make the most of the period.

However you view Christmas - whether happily, wearily, negatively or positively - I hope you have a good time during the festive season and a Happy New Year.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

CBT or Drugs?

2009-12-07T10:53:00.006Z

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and anti-depressant drugs prescribed by doctors can are both used to treat depression.

The BBC recently posted an article on its news website by Dr Jennifer Wild, Senior Lecturer at the Institute of Psychiatry comparing the relative merits of the two approaches.

The article highlights the fact that changing the way you think (the essence of CBT) can help to lift your mood and wellbeing.

To read the Dr Wild's article click on the link below:

Drugs, CBT and Depression

For anyone interested in finding out more about cognitive behavioural techniques to help with negative thoughts, I have now completed my most recent ebook which provides information about CBT, descriptions of CBT techniques and a variety of practical exercises.

The book gives a practical introduction to different CBT techniques if you want to know more about what they are. Anyone interested can find further information at the link below:

CBT Techniques

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Cognitive Therapy

2009-11-23T09:15:00.006Z

I am currently working on a new ebook on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques which should be available from my website in a few weeks time.

In the meantime, to give people an introduction to some of the ideas of cognitive therapy which underpin CBT, I have found a page of useful information on the internet, which describes the origins and theory of cogntive therapy and some of its techniques.

The basic premise of cognitive therapy theory as devised by Aaron Beck is that a major factor in emotional difficulties or disorder such as anxiety or mild depression is faulty thought patterns or 'cognitive distortions'.

A simple example would be someone criticising something you do and you concluding from this that you are useless or a failure. The conclusion is excessive but would probably lead you to feel pretty bad about yourself.

Cognitive Therapy and CBT aim to help you to identify and address extreme self criticism of this nature among other things. Techiniques include things such as:

Thought Stopping
Balancing Statements
Activity Schedules

To read the introductory information on cognitive therapy, click on the link below:

Cognitive Therapy

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Google Pay Per Click - An Introduction

2009-11-10T11:31:00.006Z

As part of my series of newsletters on Becoming a Life Coach, I have created a web page which examines some of the advantages and disadvantages of using Google Pay Per Click advertising to try to generate business.

You can read the article at:

Google Pay Per Click - An Introduction

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Work Related Stress

2009-11-06T18:19:00.016Z

Many of us have experienced a work culture or a personal background where the notion that you might find it difficult to cope or manage at work is perceived as something to be ashamed of, so admitting that you are stressed in your job can be difficult. Yet in 2008-9 it was estimated that approximately 415,000 people in Great Britain alone suffered from work related stress, anxiety or depression (see Health & Safety Executive Website).

My first suggestions if you find yourself affected by this are:
1. Ask yourself what your priorities are. How important is your health and wellbeing? How important is your work? What are your other priorities, such as relationships and family?
2. What effects is the stress having on you personally and on your capacity to carry out the job professionally (particularly if you work in a field where you make decisions which have an impact on the lives of others)?

Assuming that on the basis of your answers to these questions you decide that it is important that you do something about stress, then consider:
(a) From whom might you seek support to help you deal with your stress better or explore your options in a sensible way?
(b) In the work environment, is there anything that you can do, if you are going to continue to work, that will help you to manage your workload and/or other stresses? For example,
- Can you delegate or seek support on any difficult or time consuming tasks?
- Can you prioritise tasks more effectively, focusing on those which really need doing and spending less time on unimportant matters?
- If a work colleague is making things difficult for you, are there ways in which you can act or avenues of support or advice which you can explore to help you deal with that more effectively?

(c) Outside the work environment:
- Try to ensure that you have some quality time outside of the work environment to give you a break if the main sources of stress are at work
- If some of the sources of stress are outside work, try to clarify for yourself what outcomes you want in respect of those issues, what your options are and what constructive actions you can take.

If you are stressed at work, you may well be tired and find it difficult to see clearly or take action. Ask yourself how long this has been going on and if there is a reason why it may change soon. If there isn't and things having been going on for a while, try to initiate some positive change yourself by setting yourself 1 or 2 actions to try out based on the above points.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Marketing for Life Coaches

2009-10-21T13:16:00.004+01:00

Many life coaches are very good at what they do, but not so good at marketing their life coaching service.

I have recently posted an article on my website which gives some initial comments on marketing options for life coaches to get your coaching service known.

For further information, click on the link below:

Marketing for Life Coaches

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

The Alternative Way of Dieting

2009-10-19T14:46:00.017+01:00

Most standard diets set out by encouraging you to devise a program of what you are going to eat. There is usually some choice built into the program or you may be allowed various 'sins' or lapses where you eat some kind of forbidden food, but that is permitted because on the whole you are sticking within the diet plan or are within calorie limits that you have set yourself. Nonetheless the concept remains the same - you are encouraged to lose weight by planning to a greater or lesser degree what you are going to eat.

This kind of approach can work, but it is hard work. It also does not always deal with emotional issues that may be involved in over eating - such as 'comfort eating' or a lack of belief in your ability to change eating habits. But what alternative approach to dieting is there?-

I recently came across (and listened to) an MP3 product by the experienced UK hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner, Julie Mann, which tackles losing weight in a different way. Instead of being asked to devise a diet plan, you get an MP3 audio download which uses hypnotic suggestion and relaxation techniques to put you into a confident, relaxed state where you can make healthy choices about you eat. You start to trust yourself to make decisions.

This hypnosis MP3 rests on the belief that we each have resources in us which can when tapped into start to regulate our body and what we eat in a sensible way. So it's not about forcing you to eat certain things or about not eat certain things. It's about helping you to connect with your senses and your natural innate ability to realise when you have eaten enough, and helping you to feel good and comfortable about stopping eating at that point and realising that you can be in control.

The beauty of this kind of method when it works is that your attempts to give up eating unhealthily are no longer such a fight - you are learning to eat healthily through your own inner unconscious resources and learning to realise that any emotional or other needs that you might have been trying to meet through comfort eating can be met in other ways through your own resourcefulness. This doesn't mean this is an instant diet cure - like anything else it requires patience and application - I would suggest that you listen to the MP3 daily at possible until you reach a point where you feel you have made the positive changes in eating habits that you want and no longer need the positive reinforcement of the MP3.

For more information and details about how you can purchase and download the MP3 immediately click on the link below:

Losing Weight - the Alternative Way

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Relaxation Techniques

2009-10-12T14:55:00.006+01:00

If you find yourself feeling tense or anxious then it can be helpful to practise relaxation exercises to help to bring your body and mind back into a calmer state.

Below you can find a link to an article setting out 3 simple relaxation techniques:

1. Counting Backwards.

2. Tensing your toes (you can also try this with other parts of your body).

3. Guided imagery exercise.

The exercises may also be of assistance if you have difficulty in getting to sleep. Personally I find the 'Tensing your toes' exercise most helpful for that purpose:

Relaxation Techniques

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Jealousy and Self Esteem

2009-09-01T13:00:00.006+01:00

Jealousy and low self esteem can be related in two ways.

First of all, if you already have low self esteem then you may feel that people close to you will prefer others to you - because you don't value yourself enough. This can contribute towards feelings of envy, jealousy or suspicion of others who you think may gain the attention or interest of your partner or someone else important to you.

Secondly, even if you do not usually have low self esteem but you have a tendency to jealousy for other reasons then you may find that if you act in jealous ways your self esteem is impacted, because you feel ashamed about the way you are acting and feeling.

If either of these situations applies to you then you may be interested in a collection of ebooks which I have now put together in one downloadable pack to complement each other on the topics of jealousy, low self esteem and assertiveness.

To find out more, click on the link below:

Jealousy and Self Esteem

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History

2009-08-24T11:56:00.009+01:00

I recently came across the quote: 'Well behaved women seldom make history'. The idea of the quote I think is to encourage women to step outside cultural, social or gender based roles which may be restrictive.

Curiously enough the quote also had some resonance for me as a man. It made me realise the number of times I have done something or worried about something because I feel it's what I ought to do (or not do as the case may be).

For me as someone who uses CBT techniques in life coaching I guess the question I would suggest people ask themselves in relation to actions (or inaction) they follow based on perceptions or unspoken rules about what they ought to do or ought not to do is:

What are likely to be the consequences?

If a balanced appraisal of the likely consquences of acting in a certain way leads you to believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages then maybe it is time to try out acting that way if you haven't done so before.

If it is possible to do so first on a small scale to see what the results are and evaluate them before deciding whether to try the action again then that may be sensible and may also help you to get over the initial hurdle of doing something different from normal.

If on the other hand the change in behaviour is large scale and the potential consequences great, then you might want to take independent advise before taking a momentous decision or action, but ultimately the choice is yours.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Motivating Tips

2009-08-17T11:41:00.005+01:00

Sometimes in my life coaching sessions I ask clients to come up with particular mottos or phrases which they find motivating and to remind themselves of these on a regular basis or when feeling a bit demotivated in order to get themselves going again.

Examples of the things both clients and friends have come up with are:

'Try everything in moderation - even moderation'

'Life is too short to worry about it!'

'Nothing is a problem only a challenge'

'Smile at others and the world smiles at you'

See if you can think of a motivating phrase for yourself then write it out and stick it somewhere where you will see it regularly such as in your car or on your computer or in your kitchen.

Finding a phrase that will help to motivate you is a personal thing. My only tip would be that once you've thought of a phrase ask yourself whether you will feel positive when you say it to yourself or whether you are actually putting more pressure on yourself - if the former, great; if the latter then see if you can think of an alternative which is a bit lighter. If the phrase it a touch humourous that can often help you to relax and move forward.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Sex Therapy Bristol - Bath - South Gloucestershire

2009-08-17T11:17:00.009+01:00

Sex therapy or counselling is a specialist area of work that I sometimes get asked for recommendations on.

This is not an area of work that I personally specialise in. However, if you live in Bristol, South Gloucestershire or Bath and are seeking a helpful sex therapy service to help you deal with sexual issues or concerns in your relationship in a practical effective way, then you can find information about a useful service involving cognitive behavioural techniques and other specialist coaching approaches at the link below:

Sex Therapy Bristol - Bath - South Gloucestershire

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Happiness Economics

2009-08-13T09:28:00.006+01:00

It seems that the idea of happiness economics - that governments in setting taxes and policies should aim to promote general well being - could be becoming fashionable.

Anyone familiar with moral philosopy is likely to know of the utilitarian view championed by John Stuart Mill and others in the 19th century that the best action is the one that brings the greatest happiness to the highest number of people.

Happiness economics seems to promote a similar idea but now brought into the field of economic policy.

David Cameron and some other conservatives such as the former conservative leader Iain Duncan-Smith who established the think tank the 'Centre for Social Justice' appear to have embraced the idea of seeking to promote 'general well being' or 'GWB' and some Blairite figures also endorsed the idea.

To find out more about 'Happiness Economics' visit the link below on the BBC website:

Happiness Economics

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

If Life Hands You a Lemon

2009-07-31T09:56:00.007+01:00

The other day I received in the post a brochure from a provider of alternative holidays with an editorial focusing on the saying 'If life hands you a lemon make lemonade'. The idea of the saying is to encourage you to try to make an opportunity out of a crisis.

There are some shocks or crises which can turn into positives despite their apparent gloom. Sometimes being made redundant, for example, can lead you into starting to look into career options which you did not dare to consider when you were in steady employment.

It is a daunting thing to be taken out of your comfort zone but if this happens then one possible way of approaching the situation is to try to see if there are any new opportunities for you to develop yourself or to do new things or develop new skills or relationships arising from the situation.

But what if the situation is not one that you immediately want to forget or to move on from? This may be the case for situations involving change in a relationship or loss. If that is so, then you may find the following helpful:

Reflect on the situation that you were in which has now changed. If there were genuine positives in it that you have lost and which may never return - for example, if the situation involves the end of a relationship or a bereavement or a parting - then reflect on the positives that you had and if you can do so, commemmorate them or celebrate them in a way that is fitting to the nature of them - if appropriate you might write about them or create a photo album or some other reminder.

The idea is not to attach yourself to the past but to allow yourself to have a fitting reminder of it for when you need it and to give elements of your personal history and the people and events in it, the respect due to them.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
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