Dealing with Anger
(Anger Management Tips and Information)
Anger is one of the biggest causes of problems in relationships and also carries health risks for the person experiencing it, including potentially increasing your risk of:
- high blood pressure
- heart disease and cancer
- depression
- self harm
- substance misuse.
This webpage gives some information about anger and ideas for how to manage anger.
What is Anger?
Anger is a natural emotional state in which triggered by a situation or by your own feelings about yourself or someone else you experience a surge of energy and a flow of adrenaline through your body.
In itself there is nothing wrong with anger - the problems arise when it is excessive or out of control and when you behave towards someone else (or yourself) in a damaging way because of your anger.
Three Approaches to Anger
Suppressing Anger
Some people feel anger but don't express it towards the person they are angry with, perhaps boiling inwardly or even hurting themself to achieve a release of the angry feelings.
Expressing Anger
Some people may go to the other extreme and vent their anger forcibly towards others. In some cases this can lead to physical or verbal violence. In other cases it may be at a more acceptable level with anger being voiced in clear terms and with explanations given of what the issue is and how you would like it dealt with.
Being Assertive
The key to dealing with anger is balance. Learn to be assertive - to express your needs and wishes clearly whilst at the same time not infringing the personal space of others and respecting their needs. You can find more about assertiveness at the link below:
Anger Management
If you have difficulties with expressing your anger in a balanced way, then you may benefit from learning ways of managing and controlling your anger, by calming your inner feelings and/or controlling your aggressive behaviour. Techniques could include:
Relaxation Exercises
- Learn to breathe deeply and calmly in a measured way from your diaphragm rather than from your chest. Perhaps say a calming word such as 'relax' as you breath out.
- When you find yourself in a situation that might trigger your anger, try to pause and deep breathly or count to 10 as you gain control of yourself.
Creativity
Try expressing your anger in a creative way, for example by:
- Listening to music or singing or playing music
- Writing down your feelings and thoughts on paper rather than letting them build up inside
Stress and Anxiety Management
Anger may be linked to your underlying stress or anxiety levels:
- Find ways of reducing or managing stresses in your life if possible - seek to improve your effectiveness in managing your time by focusing on your priorities and using time management techniques. Try to follow a balanced healthy lifestyle, including some regular moderate exercise, spending some time on activities that you enjoy - rather than working 7 days a week or using all your time on meeting the needs of others.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or Coaching
- Use cognitive behavoural techniques to help control your thought patterns and related emotions and actions.
You can find out more about cognitive behavioural techniques at the link below:
- If you are unable to gain control of your anger and your related actions through your own efforts consider seeking support from a psychologist, counsellor or life coach who is familiar with appropriate techniques for helping you to manage your anger effectively.
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